5 February 1967

Dear Anita,

Please accept my apologies for the cheque problems and delay, for my last letter whatever it said, and for my not writing again. It has been an interesting three months. Also for typing rather than writing. I have just spent two days making myself a new desk top and cleaning up my basement and Sheila has given up typing so I have my typewriter and am now ensconced in my book-lined womb with the tools of the trade around me.

About the beginning of November I became very fed up. I did not have adequate facilities to do my work and it is work worth doing. So I decided that the instrument that would work with me and most likely to be able to make was a copy of a machine they built some years ago at Oak Ridge. I ordered the computer and electronic modules for the interface to connect the computer to the instrument, (about $17,000), I borrowed an old mechanical instrument from a friend who is now Professor of Molecular Biology at Oxford, and I wrote to a friend at Oak Ridge to see if they would send me their control programs. The project depends entirely on these programs which would take me several years to produce by myself. Friend Busing promised me the programs. Then I started to worry about who was going to pay for all this. I could pay for about half of it myself. I applied to the Medical Research Council for a supplement to a grant they gave me last year to hire a post-doctoral research assistant to work on this project (of molecules involved in or affecting nervous transmission) of about $35,000 to pay for the computer and to get a replacement for my borrowed instrument and to get another x-ray generator. I also wrote to the Wellcome Foundation to cover my bets. The Medical Research Council has just come through with the money and it is about time because some of the interface components showed up a couple of weeks ago and I received an invoice for $2800 last week. Now my only worry is whether the administration side of the MRC are going to be unhappy because I have already ordered the stuff. They like to order their own property.

Tomorrow I shall ring them up and go around and basically admit the situation. It is much easier on my weak shoulders than trying to cover it up in some way. So - this aspect of life is going somewhat better than it has been. I am also getting a new lab to put the stuff in which is about four times as big as my present room. I shall have to put in a years hard work making my system but it will work. It is going to cost about one half the commercial systems and work better and be more suitable to me. I shall wire it myself, having designed it, and then I shall know how it works, shall be able to fix it, and will be sure it will be done. It will take me about a fortnight to do the actual logic wiring, which is not bad. Since as far as I am concerned, I invented these computer controlled instruments (the first published reference is a statement of mine in 1960) it is about time I got one, even if I have to make it myself.

The Professor is putting in for a Readership for me I think. I am not sure I shall get it because my publications list is a bit short but I may. I need it, both for the satisfaction and for the money.

I have been trying to get a 2’ x 6' piece of wood as an electronics workbench here at home and pinched a 3' x 6' lab table. It turns out to be 1 ¼” thick teak and a cannot bear to cut it up. I turned the table top over and sanded it down and sealed it and have made myself a most beautiful desk top. It pleases me a great deal. Much more than making snazzy computer controlled instruments.

[...]

Thank you for the Christmas presents for all of us. Thank you for the calendar. I have done nothing for two months except worry. That is not quite true; I have a present for you here and now but I may not get it sent for a bit. I shall try. If you come see us, I can give it to you.

Joy tells me that you think I have been immature and have discussed her with various people like Linus and I do not know who all in an irresponsible manner. Is this true? I mean, if you do think so, please tell me and I shall modify my discussions. I try not to discuss much. I know that my position is untenable anyway; I am the one in the middle and I shall catch it sometime or other no matter what I do or say. I can cope with that.

If you do feel I have talked too much and said the wrong things and perhaps to the wrong people, please tell me.

I enclose a cheque and apologize for the delay. I hope it works this time. I just have been ignoring most things for some time.

I am going to try to arrange a trip to Darmstadt to look at an instrument pretty soon. I think it would be a mistake to order one without looking at it more carefully and discussing with the company my exact requirements. Alfred promised me a lecture sometime but I think I should leave it until I have more to say. I ought to go to Zurich and jolly up Peter Waser for some crystals though. I think there is something wrong with Peter Waser’s story and he may suppress supplying me with the compounds because I am sure to find out if anything is wrong. Then I would have to find a chemist to make me the things. More money grubbing and people grubbing. It is harder to find the people than the money.

My parents spent four days with us [at] the beginning of November. It was quite fun. We got drunk every evening and had a lot of arguments. They are more amenable to conflict than I realized. It is the first time they have ever come just to visit us. Me mum is worried about me. So am I in some ways.

I hope you are well. You particularly. Linus seems to have had a ball when he was here. I am sorry I was not here. How about sending one of the others over? Peter perhaps. I think he would enjoy seeing a little of England.

Much love,

Peter