Oregon State University Libraries and Press

Consent is Asexy and Required: Healthy Relationships with Asexual and Aromantic People, 2017

Oregon State University
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00:00:00 - Introduction

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Partial Transcript: This event was put on in part by the Women's Center and the Pride Center...

Segment Synopsis: The moderator introduces the event and some important information for the audience.

00:01:47 - Presentation on terminology within the asexual/aromantic community

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Partial Transcript: Alright, so we are going to start with a brief introduction to terminology within the asexual and aromantic community...

Segment Synopsis: Vanessa Vanderzee leads a presentation about key terms and ideas concerning asexual and aromantic identities and experiences.

Keywords: aromanticism; asexuality; sexuality

00:16:46 - Introduction of panelists

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Partial Transcript: So, I just want to introduce my panelists and I just want to say that these panelists are really amazing and have done a lot of work on this panel. I don't view myself as a person who will decide how a panel is going to run...

Segment Synopsis: The moderator introduces the panelists and set the tone for the rest of the event.

00:20:12 - The process of discovering and expressing sexual/romantic identities

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Partial Transcript: Alright, so were going to just jump right into it. The first question is what process did you go through to discover your sexual/romantic identity and have you ever experienced issues with expressing yourself as part of that spectrum?

Segment Synopsis: The panelists talk about their experiences with sexuality and (lack of) sexual attraction that led them to identify within the asexual and aromantic spectrums.

Keywords: aromanticism; asexuality; heteronormativity; homophobia; sexual normativity; sexuality

00:28:56 - Relationships/Issues with other members of the queer community

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Partial Transcript: So the next questions is what kinds of issues have you had with other members of the queer community regarding your asexuality/aromanticism and do you feel welcome there?

Segment Synopsis: The panelists describe their often less than accepting interactions with other people in the queer community as well as issues of visibility and inclusivity.

Keywords: LGBTQ+; aromanticism; asexuality; discrimination; gender; harassment; queer community; sexuality; visibility

00:38:39 - Reactions from partners to sexual and/or romantic identity | Obstacles for ace and aro people in relationships

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Partial Transcript: The next question is: if applicable how did your partner or partners react to your asexual/aromantic identity, if you have any, or what do you think are the biggest obstacles for ace and aro people in relationships?

Keywords: aromanticism; asexuality; belonging; communication; consent; erasure; partners; personal boundaries; relationships; sexual attraction

Subjects: The panelists talk about what it means to be in a relationship while on the asexual and aromantic spectrums as well as obstacles ace and aro people have to forming and maintaining healthy relationships.

00:51:58 - If there was one thing you wish you could tell your younger self in regards to healthy relationships, what would that be?

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Partial Transcript: If there was one thing you wish you could tell your younger self in regards to healthy relationships, what would that be?

Segment Synopsis: The panelists offer advice that would have been helpful to their past selves - things they wish they had known sooner..

Keywords: consent; corrective rape; friendships; personal boundaries; relationships; self-reflection; sexual violence

00:59:07 - How do you approach issues of consent with friends, family, and partners?

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Partial Transcript: The last question, then we will move on to questions from the audience. How do you approach issues of consent with friends, family, and partners?

Segment Synopsis: The panelists describe their process of communicating with their friends, family, and partners about consent and personal boundaries.

Keywords: consent; gender; mental illness; personal boundaries; sexuality

01:11:29 - Audience question: Is gendered language (e.g. handsome, gorgeous) offensive to people that use they/them pronouns?

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Partial Transcript: I have two... The first one isn't really about ace or aro at all but just like in general because I have always wanted to ask but never had a chance. For people that identify with they and them, those pronouns, what about words that have been generally masculine or feminine like gorgeous or handsome, like do you guys, is that something that would offend you if someone used the wrong one?

Segment Synopsis: The panelists talk about the power of gendered language and the importance of respecting people's pronouns and other identities as well as preferred descriptors.

Keywords: gender; language; misgendering

01:15:35 - Audience Question: How do you talk about asexuality and aromantic identities with potential partners for the first time?

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Partial Transcript: For someone who like sex isn't a matter to think about, it isn't a part of my life really, it's hard to think about talking... So, this is like talking to someone who might be interested and then me like on a first date am I like "oh, by the way..."

Segment Synopsis: The panelists talk about their process of communicating their sexual and romantic identities with other people, when to do so, and the risks associated with it.

Keywords: aromantic; asexuality; communication; identity; relationships

01:23:11 - Audience Question: Is there anything you can think of the would invite a greater sense of belonging or feeling understood or respected?

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Partial Transcript: First, i wanna say thank. I really appreciated all the energy, work you've put into this, and the contributions you've made, just your authenticity, very meaningful... I also have a question: the university works as a system, and so is there anything you can think of that could help improve our system, and I'm speaking as a metal health professional at CAPS...

Segment Synopsis: The panelists discuss actions university officials, specifically health care practitioners, could take to make the university more inclusive of ace and aro individuals.

Keywords: accountability; knowledge; marginalization; mental health; representation; training; university

01:33:42 - Audience Question: Can you talk about your feelings about going into queer spaces?

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Partial Transcript: Uh so sort of rolled into that - Well, first of all I wanted to thank the panelists... So related to the campus and how safe you feel, you guys were talking about how few spaces there were at OSU... for those of you that do I want to know how you feel as an ace person in queer spaces. Can you talk a little bit about how hard it has been for you...

Segment Synopsis: The panelists talk about their relationships with queer spaces and emotions and anxieties about entering them.

Keywords: LGBTQ+; abuse; agender; asexuality; discrimination; support

01:39:15 - Audience Question: What is the number 1 thing university officials could do to advocate for ace and aro people?

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Partial Transcript: I have one question: so, acknowledging that this is a marginalized community that... what is the number 1 thing that I could do to advocate for you?

Segment Synopsis: The panelists briefly talk about what other people can do to advocate for them at the university.

Keywords: education