Music
Person 1 (male): Caltech's money comes from individuals not the state / A little from the Navy, maybe
half but nothing great. It's really private enterprise that's made the place so great
/ So make the associates smile.
Chorus: Gather up a lot of money / Gather up a lot of money / Gather up a lot of money /
And watch Dr. DuBridge smile.
Person 1: Intellectual eminence won't get you very far / You need a research contract if you
want to be a star / Forty-five percent for overhead will make you popular / And make
Mr. George Green smile.
Chorus: Strive to get yourself a contract / Strive to get yourself a contract / Strive to
get yourself a contract / To make Mr. George Green Smile.
Person 2 (male): From history of science there's a moral to be learned / Every chemist needs his patrons,
filthy lucre can't be spurned / But don't forget that Galileo very nearly burned /
So make those associates smile.
Chorus: Strive to save department money / Strive to save department money / Strive to save
department money / And watch the associates smile.
Person 3 (male): We turn out all the burners when we leave the lab at night / We close up all the
windows and we turn out every light / The undenatured outcome of all this is safely
out of sight / Just to make the associates smile.
Chorus: Strive to save department money / Strive to save department money / Strive to save
department money / And watch Holmes Sturdivant smile.
Person 4 (female): To win a happy housewife you must not pitch woo at me / To be a student here I had
to promise faithfully / To give my all for science and forsake felicity / And make
those misogynists smile.
Chorus: Strive to rise in your profession / Strive to rise in your profession / Strive to
rise in your profession / And make Dean Lacey smile.
Person 5 (male): Experimental drudgery is now quite obsolete / I can sit here at my desk and place
my head below my feet / And solve all nature's problems by an introspection neat /
And make the Academy smile.
Chorus: Theoretical creations / Tennis balls can lead to inspiration / Tennis balls can lead
to inspiration / And make the Academy smile.
Person 5: You needn't spend a lifetime doing chromatography / With my slick stochastic method
and imagination free / The structure of the proteins is no mystery to me / I make
those molecules smile.
Chorus: Theoretical creations / Tinker toys can lead to inspiration / Tinker toys can lead
to inspiration / And make those molecules smile.
Person 2: An Oscar for a movie star is easy to obtain / But to be a Nobel Laureate you need
a mighty brain / When asked to give a lecture you must nod and not abstain / And make
the audience smile.
Chorus: Make a lecture tour frequently / Make a lecture tour frequently / Be sure to lecture
eloquently / And make your audience smile.
All: With Pauling as our Chairman life at Crellin is okay / Mistakes in our predictions
do not cause us much dismay / From one approximation we will never never stray / And
make Dr. Pauling smile.
All: Make- a first approximation / Guess- a first approximation / Don't- resort to calculation
/ And make Dr. Pauling smile.
