Disability and Queer Story Circle, February 25, 2020

[Ten Participants (including two Facilitator/Participants and three who chose to remain anonymous): Ty Sokalski, Wren Alman, Jacob Howie, Cynthia Konrad, Quianna Ohren, Anya Grigoror, and Lincoln Worley]

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: It's really important that we're separating intersectional experiences with disability. What a story circle is, is ultimately an opportunity to share a story or an experience that resonates on the prompt. I will give a list of prompts. Of course, if you hear someone say something and you're third or fourth in the line to speak and it really resonated with you, then wait until afterwards to stay that really resonated with me, thank you for sharing, but you don't have to strictly follow the prompt. This isn't English class. If you're like this is just the story I really want to share, this is the space for that. We're a relatively small group, so what we usually do is give about two minutes per speaker is probably adequate. Maybe like, I think two is probably a comfortable amount. Each person will have 00:01:00two minutes to speak their story based on the prompt. We ask that you be an active listener. I think it's appropriate to make some "hmmm" if someone says something that really resonates with you or snap but try not to interrupt the speaker.

There will be time, again, afterwards to exchange with one another and say what you said really resonated with me. The speaker will speak for two minutes, and we'll all have a moment of thank you for sharing and we'll take a moment of silence to ruminate and internalize what they've said, and we'll move on to the next speaker and they'll speak for two minutes and so on and so on. Does that make sense to everyone so far? Relatively? Okay. The prompts that we have listed here, and, again, you don't have to follow the prompts perfectly. If someone says something and you're like that makes me think of a time, you can tell that story. This is a loose, informal-ish space. The prompts that we have are talk 00:02:00about a time when you've been cared for when you've needed it. Talk about a time when you have felt heard or seen in your identity or identities. Talk about a time when you advocated for your own bodily and cognitive needs and autonomy. Those are the three prompts.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: What I'm thinking we're going to do is we're going to go kind of in order. We'll go one round with the first prompt, have a discussion moment, and then another round with the second prompt. If we're feeling tired or we just want to move on to a more informal discussion, we can stop and start whenever we want, but I would love to get through all three prompts and with everyone talking for about two minutes each I think we can in the time that we have. I will have a little stopwatch. It won't ding or anything. It's just a 00:03:00stopwatch. I'll just be keeping track of time for you and when it's time you can definitely keep talking but just try to wrap up your story. What's happening over there?

PARTICIPANT 3: There's a bunch of people just gathered.

PARTICIPANT 4: It's a bus stop.

PARTICIPANT 3: Oh, okay.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: It's always really crowded over there.

PARTICIPANT 3: I thought people were gathering for something.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: No, no, no. Another thing, too, is if you don't want to speak on a prompt you can always say pass or if you're still thinking. We're going to give everyone a pause to think about the first prompt just for accessibility, because I know it takes me a little while and we don't want to be thinking of what we're going to say when other people are speaking so we can remain listening actively. I need to go put my hearing aids on because I forgot, so that would be a good time to pause, I think. Sorry. But you can always say pass and we can come back around. Or you can say pass and you don't have to speak. That's okay. The first prompt, again, is talk about a time when you have been cared for when you needed it. We can take thirty seconds to a minute to 00:04:00think about it while I go run and put some hearing aids in.

PARTICIPANT 5: I have to leave early. How do I do so without disrupting the story circle?

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: You can just kind of bow gracefully out. It's okay. You don't have to be completely silent and statuesque when people are speaking. You're always welcome to get up and stretch if it's comfortable. It's an informal-ish space. As long as you're listening respectfully, you're fine.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Again, we're going to pause between each person. If you feel anxious about leaving while someone's talking, you can always leave when we do that. [Reads prompts] I wrote these prompts and [shrugs and laughs].

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Does anyone want a snack bar? I can't decide if I 00:05:00want chocolate chip or nutter butters.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Does anyone need more time to think, process?

PARTICIPANT 3: [Makes more or less gesture with hand] I'll just have you guys pass me.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Okay. No problem at all. I can start just to model. You don't have to do it the way I do it, but I'll just start. Talk about a time 00:06:00when you've been cared for when you needed it. I am autistic, and I have, if you're familiar with ASD, autistic people have these things called special interests, where we just really like to talk about one specific thing forever and ever and we know a lot about one specific thing forever and ever. One of my special interests is D&D, Dungeons & Dragons, and I love talking about Dungeons & Dragons. I can do it forever and I am pretty much thinking about D&D all the time. It's actually kind of annoying when I need to be thinking about other things and I'm thinking about D&D. But I think that special interests are a 00:07:00really special thing, a unique thing that makes me feel like I have this thing I'm so interested in. I'm different from other people and it's a good time.

I will say when I felt cared for was when the people in my life, mainly Wren, my roommate, and my girlfriend, Kiana, have accepted the fact that I like to ramble on about a lot of things and really encourage me and listen attentively even when I'm literally talking for like thirty minutes straight. I feel like there are not a lot of people in my life who have that kind of patience or that kind of care for what I'm interested in. Sometimes it really hurts when people are asking me to stop talking about stuff, so I think that it's really wonderful to have people in my life that I can just scream about whatever thing I'm interested in. I have a lot of special interests, so it's not only, it's a lot sometimes. I completely acknowledge that it's a lot. I feel especially cared for when the people in my life are willing to basically just listen and be there for 00:08:00me. Two minutes are gone. Yeah so, we can... do you want to go?

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Yeah. Or, we're going this way, or do you need time?

PARTICIPANT 3: [FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2] helped me realize mine as well.

PARTICIPANT 1: Okay, so talk about a time when you've been cared for when you needed it. I think it's for me it's like a cascade of several times. I think, I don't know, for me part of having multiple physical disabilities and limitations I need a lot of help in my life doing things, and I've internalized a lot of messages over the years of needing help is a sign of weakness and needing help is an inconvenience to others and needing helps me difficult to be around, et 00:09:00cetera. All of that negative internal self-talk when I do need things. I'm less likely to talk about it, but you know throughout my life and more recently in my college years living in an apartment with other people I've really been able to be cared for when I've been told what I need isn't an inconvenience. What I need is, it's just how it is and that's the way the world is and it's okay that you need this help and I'm willing to help you with it. I think a lot of people have communicated that to me in my life recently. Not so much in my childhood but now as an adult. That has made me feel really cared for in a lot of ways that people are willing to say, you know I think removing the blame that I've felt a lot of the time of that it's my fault that I need these things and people saying, no, the world is not built for people with disabilities. That's why you're disabled. 00:10:00I've been able to have people who are just willing to step up and help me without complaint and have open communication about when it's difficult for them but never making it my fault that I need it and just saying hey I'm tired too but let's figure out how we can work together, and that has helped me a lot in my life and made me feel really cared for.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Also, I forgot to have a pause after each story.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Yes!

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: We'll have an extra-long pause for both things.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: It's good to take a breath in and out. I'll pass that to you, so you can see the prompt.

PARTICIPANT 3: I've got so much stage freight.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: [Covers their face].

PARTICIPANT 3: I don't know if that's better or worse. I found out pretty 00:11:00recently that I'm on the autism spectrum as well, so, yeah, sorry to piggy back off of you, but it's the same for me because a lot of my life growing up people would not care when I wanted to talk about what I was really, really into and so I've gotten really shy about even mentioning those things now, so when someone actually engages with me about the stuff I like to think about and talk about it and draw on and all of that. Thinking about super consistently it's really nice to not have to feel like I have to apologize or, yeah. Because a lot of times I 00:12:00do find myself apologizing but yeah. I have found friends over time that sometimes will straight up ask me a question about things that interest me. Because I have a lot of them. Right now, I'm super, super interested in Kaichou. When people come up to me and like hey I have a question about this, I'm like you're going to let me talk? You're going to open Pandora's box? Yeah, it's pretty cool when somebody cares about you in that way.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Again, we're going to take some deep breaths and internalize the story, absorb the story. Thank you so much for sharing.

PARTICIPANT 4: One of the things I deal with is having a panic disorder. That just makes all things complicated. I don't have a support system and so somedays I'll be on campus in front of everybody and little things happen, and I end up freaking up and doing things, curled up in a ball sometimes crying and sometimes I don't know. A lot of weird things. It's really having to do it outside of a final review session with your entire senior class because people hear you and they see you and somebody saw that happen and got me a coffee afterwards, which 00:14:00I highly appreciated. That's about all. I don't really have a lot of examples of being cared for by people, but that was really nice, and I appreciated that. Something I deal with is thinking that I'm burning all the friendships around me whenever I have symptoms of whatever. I'm like oh my gosh all these people are going to think I'm a freak or whatever. But it's nice because we're still friends.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you so much for sharing. Take a deep breath. Alright moving on.

PARTICIPANT 5: I also was put on the spectrum my freshman year of college. 00:15:00That's a trip. I guess kind of like what you said about system's aren't built for people with disabilities. Higher education is not for people with disabilities in general, especially going into my third year Biology III because I'm trying to get into med school. I've had a lot of times where I'm just like it's 3:00 in the morning and I can't go to bed because I just can't go to sleep or I'm working on a paper that is just killing me and I get all in my head and I'm like I can't do this. I'm not good enough. I'm like why can't I do this? Everyone else can do this and my girlfriend reminds me like you can't 00:16:00necessarily-it's not because of you. It's because of the system. That doesn't mean you're not giving your best or you're not trying your best, but that doesn't mean you can't do your best, but that means things are not built for you. That's something that you'll have to keep in mind. Sometimes it's really hard for me to put words together and say things in coherent sentences or sometimes I talk too loudly. Sometimes I'm quiet. Sometimes I move around too much and it helps that I have someone who's always understands that and actually keeps together the words that just got caught in my mouth, almost like translating what I'm saying to everyone else because sometimes it's hard to have a brain that does things in the way that people assume that it's supposed to.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you so much for sharing. Take a deep breath. I'll pass that for you.

PARTICIPANT 6: So, luckily, I have my mom who's very, I consider her my war friend because she and I go through the emotional trenches together. It's just like I've never-she'll be able to go through all the types of crap I go through and she's able to listen to me and for me I have a type of cerebral palsy. 00:18:00Trying to figure out who I was and what I can and can't do, she definitely influenced me in that and cared for me and just, I don't know, just figuring out who I am. Definitely in middle school definitely had some moments where people are always asking me what is this? I can't explain it them, because I didn't really know what it was at the time, but my mom, again, she helped me realize who I was and was trying to do. Now I have some really good friends who are able to give me help. Like one of the things that I can't do is tie my shoes. It 00:19:00seems like a very simple thing, but it's like, it's going back to like oh it's okay to have help with stuff and I think just, I don't know. Just the accepting that it's okay.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you so much. A deep breath in and out. Whenever you're ready.

PARTICIPANT 7: When I think about a time when I felt really cared for, I am lucky to have really good friends. I have something similar to Crohn's Disease and then assorted other things as well, but when I first got sick, I was really, really sick and I could barely leave my house. For a few years I felt super 00:20:00isolated and I had a really close group of friends who would always have them over and if I could make it over to their house I could just lay on the couch and it was okay. They had a big party one time and it was really nice outside and it was summer, and I was feeling really bad and they put a lounge chair for me on the deck and wrapped me with blankets because I was really cold. I snoozed and chatted when I felt up to it. They made me soup and tea and all different things. I just felt like with friends I felt like I was in a space where I could be myself and I didn't have to go and pretend to be a certain way or feel a certain way or avoid things. I actually had a similar friend growing up, because 00:21:00I also deal with depression and anxiety and stuff like that. I just knew at 14 I could be whoever I am with this friend. She will never bat an eye. She'll always be super helpful. I can go over to her house after school and lay on her bed and cry and that's acceptable and then we'll chat and listen to music and do all the things. I felt lucky to have friends that cared for me.

[PARTICIPANT 8 Enters the Story Circle]

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you so much. We're going to take a breath in and out. Before we move on to discussion, I would like to welcome you to our event. Would you like to introduce yourself?

PARTICIPANT 8: Yeah [says name].

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Oh, we can always edit it out. So, it's being filmed right now. We can always edit out your name and information if you want to remain anonymous. I just forgot for a moment that this was an option.

PARTICIPANT 8: Thanks for the option. I'm cool with remaining anonymous. I'm Lincoln or whatever easier. And most of you I've seen around and interacted with.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: We have a consent form. Thank you so much for verbally consenting, but we also have a form for you to sign. The audio recording is going to be donated to the Queer & Multicultural Archives as part of the LGBTQ+ Oral Histories Project. Is that what it's called? Yes. It'll also be available on the internet. If you have questions about that or you want specific, maybe not your name or something like that, you're always welcome to discuss it further and if you have questions we can continue. We're just finishing up our first prompt, so don't worry about missing anything.

PARTICIPANT 8: Alright.

PARTICIPANT 7: You're timing is actually perfect.

PARTICIPANT 8: Oh, sweet. Today is the 25th?

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Yes. And Lincoln if you would like, let me get you an agenda.

PARTICIPANT 8: Alright, thank you.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: So that you know exactly what...

PARTICIPANT 3: Engaging

PARTICIPANT 7: I'm going to put that on the top of all agendas from now on [unintelligible]; I would love that.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: The way that we're doing it is we're going to go around in a circle and everyone gets the chance to tell their story based on prompts. We have three prompts that we're going through in order. I have a little stopwatch and we are going to try to keep our stories to about two minutes. Once we're done telling our story we move on to the next person and then at the end once everyone has gone we can have a more free conversation/discussion about it. If you would like, you can go ahead and answer 00:24:00the first prompt, which is talk about a time when you have been cared for when you needed it. But if you're like, you just got here, and you want to settle in. We can always do the next, we can always talk and discuss what we just talked about. It's up to you.

PARTICIPANT 8: I think I will probably just listen in for a little bit.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Okay, no problem at all.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Now is the time when we take a minute, just a brief amount of time to acknowledge what parts of people's stories resonated with us. I think we already did that a little bit, which is great I think. We go off of each other's stories as well. That's sort of the idea of it. [PARTICIPANT 3's post-it on their shirt falls]. You need like a safety pin. Anyway, so if anyone wants to share something or speak or start us off with your story really resonated with me and having certain things that you need help on and coming 00:25:00into ownership with that and being cared for by people who are willing to, being like, when you said tying shoelaces, I was like I literally have the elastic, no-tie shoelaces for the same reason. It's difficult for me to bend down and tie my shoes. I felt that. I was like, oh, yeah, my shoelaces.

PARTICIPANT 6: Mine don't need tied [room chuckles].

PARTICIPANT 2: Yeah. That's great, yeah.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: I really resonated with your story [gestures towards PARTICIPANT 5] because, yeah, I honestly also think that you're the first, like autistic person of color that I've ever met, or, at least that I've ever spoken to at length and so it's really, just hearing you say, "I am on the spectrum," 00:26:00I'm like oh that's great. I definitely feel that. I also definitely feel struggles with academics. I was also in pre-med, but I actually switched out my second year because of the same reason that the education system is not built for someone like me and it's definitely not built for people who also struggle with depression and anxiety, which I also struggle with so it's really difficult to be academically successful when your [unintelligible] is shit from the system and from the people around you. Thank you so much for talking about that.

PARTICIPANT 3: One of my worst depression years was my senior year of high school and I was taking AP calculus and AP physics because I liked the teacher. He was cool, and then I was like, no! It was awful because the system is just 00:27:00not built for anybody but those with no disabilities and that's not cool because there are so many disabled people out there who would like to be accommodated.

PARTICIPANT 4: Disability Access Services sucks.

PARTICIPANT 3: Yeah!

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: It's hard to navigate when you don't have documentation. I've felt-I'm not interrupting you, am I?

PARTICIPANT 3: No.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: I have a bad habit of that, so I have to check myself, but I felt like I really resonated with what you said about panic and intensity. I have a really hard time with emotional regulation in general but particularly around anxiety. As someone with PTSD and who lives with that I've had those moments where in public I am like struggling and having to internalize my own opinion of myself and also other people's interactions with how I'm 00:28:00acting in public and particularly around behaviors that I do to self-regulate. That can be awkward for some people so when you said that I really resonated with that as well. Something like someone giving you a cup of coffee afterwards and checking in with you can be so, you can really feel seen and be validated because it feels like this person doesn't think I'm a freak. I feel that really resonated with me.

PARTICIPANT 5: Also, what resonated was the idea that someone not having documentation. I don't actually have an official diagnosis.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: [Points towards self].

PARTICIPANT 5: Yeah.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: No one's going to diagnose me.

PARTICIPANT 5: I've spent like what I'm 20 now. I pass incredibly well for a neurotypical, which sucks a lot because that means along with am I disabled or 00:29:00not? Do I identify as a regular person? I also don't have the money-psychological testing is very expensive.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: So expensive.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Especially for adults.

PARTICIPANT 5: When I went to DIS [Disability Insurance Services] to talk about that I don't qualify for any scholarship. I don't feel comfortable using insurance. They were like, oh you can go down to U of O and get it done for $700, which is a lot cheaper. It's like well I still don't have $700.

PARTICIPANT 3: I've got to pay rent buddy.

PARTICIPANT 5: Yeah.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: You still have to get there.

PARTICIPANT 5: Yeah, and like it's-yeah.

PARTICIPANT 4: I think they especially have something against mental disabilities, because I went in there with all this documentation and support from doctors and stuff, and it was like they basically- First of all, I told them you can't talk to me on the phone. I will not be able to talk on the phone. 00:30:00They're like, sorry, the only way that we can interview you is talking on the phone. I'm like-

PARTICIPANT 3: Are you kidding me?

PARTICIPANT 4: First of all, yeah, so I just cried on the phone then. I said, please don't reject me because I don't know how to talk right now, and they sent me an email saying we can't do any of the things you asked for.

PARTICIPANT 3: Okay that's so frustrating.

PARTICIPANT 4: The only time I got help from DAS [Disability Access Services] was I was in wrist braces, and I was like I have an injury, please help me. They were still like I don't know. It's an injury. It's not a disability. So now I have disability in the paperwork, then they're like I guess we'll call you.

PARTICIPANT 3: It's so frustrating that they don't want to accommodate the disabilities they can't see but they also don't want to accommodate the disabilities that they can see. Why are you even here?

PARTICIPANT 4: It's stupid.

PARTICIPANT 5: I got accommodation for my eyesight, because I have issues with those, and the guy was like alright we just need your ophthalmologist to fill this out and you're golden. I was like, one I went in to talk about being autistic but the person who was talking to me was like well I think really what you need to be tested for is ADD or ADHD. I was like, I mean, I don't-

PARTICIPANT 3: So, what does that matter?

PARTICIPANT 4: I was like this is still an issue for me, and they're like well I think that this is the bigger issue. Then my girlfriend said when you're talking to someone for the first time and especially as I said I pass for normal, they're probably not seeing you and seeing what they think is more important, which was really frustrating as well. Because it's like well, please take my word for it, I'm a person.

[During PARTICIPANT 4 sharing their story, PARTICIPANT 9 entered]

PARTICIPANT 3: I want to throw hands with people so often over this stuff.

PARTICIPANT 4: Also, there's an autistic group on campus.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: They always meet when I have class. Four years. I've been getting emails for four years.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Well, and I'll say, to speak on that too this isn't therapy group. We don't have to remain anonymous. We can exchange numbers and stuff. That is a thing that can happen. We don't have to be like, I never saw them again [room laughs]. This isn't Al-Anon. We can use first and last names with each other.

PARTICIPANT 4: That is something weird with past support systems, is like you can't be friends with these people.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Some of the support groups will allow it and some won't. It just depends on the level of-

PARTICIPANT 4: You cannot associate with these people.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: It's very strange. Like, I know that the gender spectrum's group encourages it, but then I went to the family chaos group and they're like [shakes head no]. If I see you eating lunch with this person, I'm 00:33:00coming for you personally. I was like [makes afraid expression].

PARTICIPANT 7: We were just carefully sitting next to each other and not talking.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: You see them and you're like I have to get up. Anyway.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Alright, for the sake of time, we're going to move on, and I also would like our newest person to introduce themself.

PARTICIPANT 9: I'm Kiana. I use she/her pronouns.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: So, I've already talked to you about this but just, so you know we're video recording and audio recording to be donated to the archives. If you're okay with that, you're welcome to sign the consent form and it'll also be made available online as part of the LGBTQ+ Oral Histories Project. If you have questions about that or want to discuss it, we can talk about it later. We are currently doing the story circle portion. We finished the first prompt, which was "talk about a time when you have been cared for when you needed it." I think since it's 6:00 we're going to move on to the second and third prompts. Anyone have any questions about that? Perfect.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: The second prompt distributed, and I'll begin is talk about a time when you felt heard or seen in your identity. For people who have to leave the third prompt, if that resonates more with you or you have something you want to talk about on that one too you are welcome to choose: talk about a time when you advocated for your own bodily or cognitive needs and autonomy. We want to just a thirty-second pause to think so that when people are speaking we can be actively listening. We can do that now.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Alright, does anyone need more time?

PARTICIPANT 3: Alright, hello everyone. I've had to advocate for myself in a lot of cases, specifically in terms of depression because it gets really bad sometimes. Sometimes I'm just like I can't get out of bed. There was one time I was trying to write an essay, but I was like in the middle of a really, really, really bad depressive episode. The essay was due the next day or whatever. I was 00:36:00putting finishing touches on it and I was like I can't. I was just sitting there with tears streaming out of my eyes. My head was so loud. I could not think of the words I was writing. I was just typing it was like [eeeh]. I emailed my professor and I was like I'm sorry I can't do this. I can't do this right now. This essay will not get done. I need an extension. I explained it was a depression really bad, all that stuff. Actually, that's one of the times that when I explained I could not do something due to depression, somebody actually accommodated for me. People don't do that a lot. That was nice, kind of standing up for myself in a way and actually getting the extension. The professor was like oh, of course. I'm so sorry that's happening right now. You can have up to a few days. I was like ah! Then I got it turned in and I got a pretty good grade. Yeah, I've had to step up about it a lot and sometimes because there's a lot of stigma around mental illness and all that. Sometimes it's people treat 00:37:00you strange, but like "I'm depressed, clinically." Sometimes people treat it like an excuse and all that, and I'm just tired of it. That was nice. I was nice that somebody heard me.

[PARTICIPANT 10 has entered]

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you for sharing. Take a deep breath in and out. Before we go to the next person, would you like to introduce yourself, Anya? 00:38:00Just your name and pronouns?

PARTICIPANT 10: I'm Anya. I use she or they pronouns. Do you know where [unintelligible] anyone now?

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: They're just right in front of me with names on them. I'm also looking for a consent form because I think we may have run out.

PARTICIPANT 10: If we don't finish it do I sign one of these?

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: We can print out another one. We're basically just want to check if you're okay with the audio recording [simultaneous talking] and 00:39:00if you're not indicate [simultaneous talking].

[Pause in the story circle sharing, general discussion, PARTICIPANT 3 exits the Story Circle]

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Do you want to go next?

PARTICIPANT 4: Sure. I was going to say a little bit how they were talking about the accommodating depression for professors, because I have needed that every term. There is a point in the term where I will have a major depressive episode or more than one, maybe like five. I don't know, so that sucks. I was going to talk about-it is a little bit about both of those. It is a little bit about advocating for myself for my diagnosis of [unintelligible] Disorder because nobody knew-I always knew I sucked at listening to things, but I didn't know that it was, it got validated when I was like I met someone who had the same thing, same symptoms and she talked about it and I was like this is my life. 00:41:00Last year going through the whole process of going, finding a specialist, getting diagnosed. This was all me, 100%. That was weird, because I've never faced that before. I did feel heard and seen in that where the specialist wasn't like oh it doesn't sound like you have this or I don't know about that. It was just like ready, done. So that was new.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you for sharing. Take a deep breath in.

PARTICIPANT 4: I probably have crinkled that paper.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: And that's okay.

PARTICIPANT 5: A time advocating for myself-I have, I don't even know what it's called specifically but I have problems seeing beyond with clarity to the point 00:42:00where like I can't go to class because I'm spending half of my energy trying to actually pay attention but also half of it on I can't say anything. I will fall asleep in class. Sometimes it's like I will black out and there are times when I can tell that I'm falling asleep. It's actually been happening my entire life, but when I got to college and when the course loads got a lot and it actually started happening in giant lecture halls that are either too bright or too dark. I finally said well this is happening, and I don't know what it is. I finally got a diagnosis and I finally got to realize what was happening and the treatment for it is not covered by insurance and it's $3,500. Is that the right 00:43:00number? Three thousand, five hundred...yeah. My parents have always been money focused. You know like do you really need this because it can cost a lot. Or can you put this off? Especially with my health I've felt like money comes before me a lot. A lot of things but also things with my mental health. With this, I cannot finish a degree. I can't do school. I won't be able to do med school if I can't see, if I'm falling asleep in class if I'm not being able to function. I finally was like, well, I legitimately think I need this. I will pay for half of it because it kind of sucks, because a lot of my friends are like well your parents they kind of should take care of your health. Because they're insistent 00:44:00on taking care of a lot of things but not this. But I was like it's the only way to get what I need and so if that's what it takes then that's what it takes.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you so much for sharing. Take a deep breath in and out.

PARTICIPANT 6: I feel like all my life I've been advocating for myself. Having a physical disability and telling people in every day-to-day activity almost it can be hard, the repetitiveness of it to be very dragging and just tired of it in general. Sometimes I get frustrated, but I think, you know, I mean my 00:45:00personal belief, and I've had one experience that I-I'm a Christian-I had one experience where people were praying for me, and they were like, they were really trying their hardest to see if I wanted to be healed, like fully healed or not of a disability or not and I was reluctant to say. I didn't want to say, how do I put this? I think it was hard because I wanted to accept who God made me and that he made me perfect. If I said, yes, I want to be healed I feel like 00:46:00I'd just be manipulating who he made me to be and I think it's just hard sometimes to really explain to certain people, like going back to the eighth grade actually. I took two country-western dancing. I've been doing that for about five years I had to tell every new dance partner, hey I have this. If you don't mind just grabbing my wrist, instead of my hand.

[PARTICIPANT 5 Exits the Story Circle]

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you so much for sharing. Take a deep breath in and out. So, you [PARTICIPANT 10] can pick between any of the prompts since you 00:47:00haven't been here for any of them.

PARTICIPANT 10: I need time to look through it.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Of course.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: You can pass too if you want.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: And we can always come back to you.

[PARTICIPANT 5 returned for a moment to retrieve something]

PARTICIPANT 7: I want to talk about advocating for my autonomy. I think that I 00:48:00was in a relationship for a long time with someone who didn't want to acknowledge or wasn't good at acknowledging that I had issues, that I had a disability, and I struggled with things and it was really, it felt really invalidating. She would always say, I would say-I'm struggling with this thing. She'd, oh, everybody struggles with that. I'd say, well, no. I really, really. I remember talking about how it's hard for me to get started working out and I really love to and be really active, but I would feel like in absolute hell for at least 3 solid weeks when I'd start. If I get sick and I might have to stop hiking or exercising or whatever the thing is and then I would start again it's 00:49:00like I'm signing myself up for a few weeks of hell before this feels good again. It takes a lot of emotional energy and a lot of physical and then she'd be like oh it's hard for everybody to start working out. I got really frustrated with that and I started to say that I feel really uncomfortable when you say that. It feels really invalidating about what I experience and yeah, I felt really good about addressing that. I'm not always good about addressing things like that and setting those boundaries. It was something that changed and got better and yeah, I felt really proud of myself for saying, no, that doesn't feel good. You may not mean harm, but it causes harm. I've tried to be more up front with friends and with people in my life about how if they speak in a way about my disability or any of my identities that makes me uncomfortable or just doesn't sit right 00:50:00with me.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you so much for sharing.

PARTICIPANT 10: I think I can go now.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Okay, we're going to breath in first.

PARTICIPANT 10: It's good to remember to breathe.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Yes, it is.

PARTICIPANT 10: I forget a lot.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: So, I'm using the stopwatch to basically, so you can keep track of how long you're talking. We're aiming for about two minutes but if you need to go longer, just try to wrap up what you're saying by the two minutes. Is that cool with you?

PARTICIPANT 10: Yeah. Okay, I think I'm just going to go with number one: being cared for when I needed it, because I can't really think of any specific events, but it's been a lot of things that have helped me escape the combination of horrible school burnout, drug use, and emotional stress I've been going through 00:51:00to the point where I barely left my house or like not interacting with any my friends for like six months. Having people that are like really made me feel safe to reach out for help was really important in getting me out of that. It made me able to ask other people who I didn't trust as much for help and be better with exercising my boundaries with people in a way that let me actually access the help I needed. Having someone make me feel like I could reach out and have one more place where I felt like I didn't feel guilty for being stressed and too tired to function and actually having the opportunity to [unintelligible] them and have my needs met was really basically for me like-.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you so much for sharing. Breathe in and breathe out. Are you feeling ready [to PARTICIPANT 9]?

PARTICIPANT 9: Are we not good to say our names? Can I say your guys' names?

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Yes.

PARTICIPANT 9: So, a time when I felt cared for when I needed it. For example, random, when you were like you can dictate to me and I will write you, help you write that paper. That helped me a lot because, and then also by the way I have diagnosed ADHD I'm suffering, and I have my whole life. That helped me a lot when you're like oh I can help you write your papers because I would think back to when I was in community college and I would have to like plan out an entire 00:53:00day to write a 1-page, single-spaced page. Like 24 hours it would take me to write one paper and on top of that I would have to listen to Tibetan soothing bell music as well as get a blocker that blocks me from every other website except for google drive on the entire internet. A big thanks. It saves me time.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you for sharing. Take a deep breath in and out. Okay, I think I'm going to answer the last two prompts simultaneously-talking about a time when I felt heard or seen and talking about a time when I've advocated, especially for my cognitive needs. I didn't really realize that I had low empathy or an empathy disorder, I don't know. I don't want to call it that, 00:54:00since I was a kid. It took me a long time to realize because for a long time I just thought that I was a fundamentally broken person and that I was just evil, like I legitimately thought I was a villain, and everyone was just pretending-or, I was just pretending to be a good person. It really reached a peak in college when my friends were moving away from me, and I was dealing with a lot of new conflicts and social dynamics in my life. I wouldn't be able to respond in a way that was appropriate. I use a lot of scripts in my everyday life to basically, I don't know, pretend at being a real person-to pass, is what I should say. Once I got to situations where I didn't have a script to use to pretend at empathy, it was really difficult for me to express that I cared for my friends or express that I truly did feel compassion for them, but I couldn't 00:55:00feel what they were feeling.

It took me until college to be able to have this one-on-one conversation with all of my friends and all the people in my life who have come to me for support and be like I really do truly care for you and I really do want you to feel better, but I just can't extend... I can't always say I understand how you feel because most of the time I don't. I have really felt seen when my friends have assured me you know you're not an evil person. Why do you think that? Because it was such a sure thing. I was like I am the worst. It didn't even make me feel bad. I was just like this is just a fact of life. Then when people were challenging that and being like no you just struggle with feeling things in a 00:56:00specific way and there's nothing wrong with that. You're a good person-I was like, huh. That was pretty cool. Yeah, I felt really heard and seen in that aspect. We'll take a deep breath in and out.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: I think, I guess I'm thinking about both and about being heard or seen in both of my or I guess in my many identities. I'm someone who has a lot of different disabilities-just a whole pot. It's a long list. Some of them are very not-impactful in my life and some really are but also being someone who identifies as trans and a lesbian I have thought a lot about being 00:57:00seen as a desirable person, not only in a sexual context but in a context, any context as someone who is-I feel like the narrative that I have received a lot as a disabled person growing up especially in the south (I think it was a rainbow thing) is like you know you're better off dead than disabled. I think that I internalized that a lot and I'm only just now getting where I can be in an emergency room because of my chronic illness and be like you know what I'm going to make jokes about how sexy I am in this hospital gown and being able to feel comfortable in my body and talk about how I can make Hanes look sexy and I can gloss up my hearing aids and glamorize disability and I have sex and be like I am appealing as a person, not just as a sexual object but I am sexy and I am desirable to people and that has taken a lot of time in my life and a lot of 00:58:00receiving messages from other people that I'm fun to be around and also like telling myself and looking at the mirror and being like, yeah look at that fat tummy-that's cute and being able to really start with seeing myself as acceptable and then seeing myself as desirable and that has taken a lot of time and self-advocacy and sheer force of will and you know [unintelligible] myself in the mirror and like it takes a lot of work but I think I'm getting there.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you so much for sharing. Take a deep breath in and out.

PARTICIPANT 8: I'm simultaneously a little frustrated and a little [unintelligible] because I don't really have much to talk about for one or two 00:59:00but this last midterm season. I had a conflict with a group project that led to me starting to have a meltdown throughout the day. If I can't go into like withdraw from the situation, I will continue to have that meltdown indefinitely, but it was at the start of my day. I had this group conflict and I pushed myself to resolve it, which I'm proud of doing. But then I went to DAS for my midterm still in tears and hyperventilating and having trouble speaking so I talked to them and of course because this having been scheduled well ahead of time there wasn't much they could do. I sat for the two-and-a-half exam because I had 01:00:00extended time. Then I contacted my professor afterwards, and I think this one kind of connects to one although I think I would probably say that it makes more sense that I felt more respected than cared for. I contacted my professor, and I was able to get a makeup exam scheduled without disclosing much more than this is a medical emergency for me, because obviously I'm still in that class as a disabled student. But I've been doing that sort of thing since middle school because I didn't really, I mean I was, it's been interesting to hear the conversation. I think I'm maybe the only person that has, okay-that's over two 01:01:00[minutes], so never mind.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Thank you for sharing. Deep breath in and out. So, it's 6:32. I'm going to run out-

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Did you get a chance to share [PARTICIPANT 4 nods]? Okay, sorry I was like oh... the chair just broke.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: I would love for us to be able to continue to have a discussion. Now that everyone has gotten the chance to speak, maybe we can talk a little bit, 10 minutes more about anything that resonated with us and continue discussion. Like you [PARTICIPANT 8] didn't need to cut yourself off at all. I'm going to run and just make sure the staff are okay with us staying a little longer.

[People shifting around the room].

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: So, we're in the clear for just discussion?

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Yes, just for general discussion. They said we just got to be out of here by 7:00. Yes. [PARTICIPANT 8], I guess I just want to say that really resonated with me too, because I feel like people don't understand that meltdowns are out of our control. Panic attacks, too, it's I literally lose control of my body. I feel like if I were in that situation, I wouldn't be able to approach a professor the way that you do and advocate for myself, because I don't know, there's so much not stigma but people just don't know. They see this happening and they just have no idea what's going on. I had a friend who her little sister got diagnosed with ASD when she was like 12 and her sister would have meltdowns every day, and she would be like I don't know what's going on, 01:04:00she's having seizures or something. Then I talked to her sister, and I was like oh no I do this too.

PARTICIPANT 10: It's super nice hearing about people who talk about that stuff because I never gotten anything diagnosed but parents have told me they thought I may have ASD but like-

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Yeah, I'm not diagnosed either.

PARTICIPANT 10: They never did anything about it, but they told me I had it.

PARTICIPANT 4: Yeah, because parents, oh my gosh. Even the very obvious ones, like this kid obviously has had severe depression for the last eight years and shit-

PARTICIPANT 10: Yeah, they never reached out to me for anything even when I was depressed. They were just like, oh get better, fix it. All the things that are about getting educated. It seems like that's all the material support they've given me, besides [unintelligible].

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: I think it's hard too when you don't-I think there are several people in this room who are like, I don't have a formal diagnosis. I think that is really hard because there's a lot of systemic barriers that make it really difficult for marginalized people to get diagnosed. You have to be really lucky to get a diagnosis sometimes at all in life and people are less willing to believe you when you don't have the paperwork. I have talked to professors who have been like, I got tested for ADHD, told I didn't have that and then talked to my therapist and my therapist, who can't formally diagnose me, was like you have it. And I'm like but I can't get formally diagnosed by you. She was like, yep. I was like, so I can't get accommodations. She was like, yep. So, people face a lot of these barriers of you can't even-yeah, it's really 01:06:00hard to be in this position but it's also really fortunate to be able to talk to a professor and then to have the paperwork on your side to be like, no see look. When you don't it can be really upsetting. Not to talk too much and change the pattern of the conversation but I wanted to say that what you [PARTICIPANT 6] were talking about with faith really resonated with me because I don't put myself in a camp but I grew up in the Bible belt so there a lot of faith narratives that are complicated to navigate as a disabled person who wants to experience, and maybe this is true of you as well, who wants to experience faith and understand ourselves as perfect in God's eyes as God's creation but we're also receiving the narrative, especially in the south where you have faith healers and stuff, that God can heal you and fix you and then struggling with that, like but I would love to be how I was made and warring with that. So, what 01:07:00you said really resonated with me because I grew up in that same environment and had to navigate but I love my body and my life but also people are telling me these two contrasting messages and then you have to really like-I don't know it's a lot of thinking to do as a kid.

PARTICIPANT 7: That really resonated with me as well, like around my disabilities and also around queer identity and I was raised really Catholic, which is a different context, but my Sister [unintelligible], my third-grade teacher made the mistake of having a poster in her classroom that said something about I must be someone special because God doesn't make junk. I've always remembered it. I've always thought about it, and it stuck with me and when I've encountered that with folks saying oh you need to be fixed, you need to be fixed 01:08:00for all the various things. I've thought about that and been like... yeah. So, that really resonated with me.

PARTICIPANT 6: I think the specific question that they asked was like do you want to be 49% healed or 51% healed? Which was interesting because I was just like, first problem was first of all what does that even mean? And second of all just going back to I don't want to be healed because this is who I am and if I did it would be another 23 years, because I'm 23, it would be another 23 years of me being acclimated to something that is like now that I've adapted to everything that I've done. It's like now I have to be reacclimated to 01:09:00everything. Yay. But I also resonated with the thought of along with it, though, it can be very hard. Because for me typing papers suck. It takes me, I have a paper that I need to do and I'm just kind of dreading doing it because I know I'm going to be sitting there all night typing three pages, but it's been really cool because I've had, my roommates have been you have an outline? And they'll just be like I'll type it out for you. If you have an outline, just say what you want me to say and do kind of thing.

PARTICIPANT 9: I can bounce off that, when I really, when I don't have a roommate, I really love using those speech-to-text programs. It really helps. I 01:10:00don't know, I have so many things wrong with me, but I just cannot write a paper with my hands at all. There's a disconnect between my brain and my body that happens and I'm like "the" okay that's enough.

PARTICIPANT 6: I'd rather write with a nice pen for my papers rather than type it out. But, yeah, speech-to-text though, even that I've actually used my phone a couple of times for speech-to-text but at the same time I just don't really trust them as much. That's why I have [unintelligible], even if I can't do it.

PARTICIPANT 9: Now I'm remembering when I did do speech-to-text and I would have to really, I feel like I slur my words a little bit, so I would have to really annunciate my words and I would be like-the title of my paper [imitates computer 01:11:00voice]. I would literally have to talk like that for it to understand what I was saying.

PARTICIPANT 6: Or you say period and it's like it would write period.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: When I use speech-to-text I always forget to do a new paragraph, so I look at it and it's like a block of text this long [holds up hands] and I have to go back through and be like [motions with hands different points].

PARTICIPANT 8: I used to write like that anyway. It's like an OCD thing.

PARTICIPANT 10: I think part of the reason I did so many drugs was I probably self-medicate for things I wasn't diagnosed with because sometimes some of the stuff I tried was actually really helpful and made me more functional and other times it fucked me up. I just wanted a doctor to help me navigate healthcare in that aspect, but mental health care it's like I just had to figure out things myself and just work my way out of things that hurt me.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: I feel like at the same time seeking medical care is a double-edged sword because of the whole "fix you" narrative. I reflect on like 01:12:00if I actually got diagnosed with autism as a kid how different my life would have been and how different my education would have been based on "autism education" and how fucked up it is and how it emphasizes diminishing the symptoms of autism and decreasing all of the things that make me "me" and sometimes I'm almost glad that I don't have a diagnosis because then I was integrated into the classroom and got to struggle in that aspect of being in a classroom with no accommodations but also didn't have to endure the abuse of the special education system.

PARTICIPANT 10: Yeah, part of the reason I avoided thinking about it because I saw how poorly special ed kids were treated in my district.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Mm-hmm, same.

PARTICIPANT 10: Then you feel like I don't want to be there because they're going to not actually meet my needs. It's just like when you're going to the addict stuff too, people look at you like shit when you look a certain way. I have eczema on my wrists, but people look at me like I'm a meth head sometimes. I mean, when I went to buy burgers, the guy looked at my hands and gave me this disgusted look like he would look at me like you're fucking dirt. It's like now you have to [unintelligible]. I quit stimulants because they just hurt me but people who use them because they have ADHD and aren't medicated or can't afford it or their insurance doesn't cover it, they get looked at like fucking trash. 01:14:00People who I know who can't access what they need because they lost their old prescriptions or never got one in the first place because that's how you get, because the stimulants that help people be functional with ADHD and it's like, it's really hard just to navigate healthcare related to that. There's stuff now after having to go through trans healthcare bullshit and it's just a lot of stuff in front of me.

PARTICIPANT 9: I've heard different sides of it, but I understand. I've heard that kids that got ADHD diagnosed at a young age or kids that were into creative topics, kids that were into drawing and stuff, they would just talk about how it would destroy their creative drive and I was like fuck. Kids with ADHD when they're medicated.

PARTICIPANT 10: It's true. There's long-term side effects of any medication, like SSRIs. They're not meant to be like the first thing you give to get people to shut up about life. It feels like they're trying to get people to mask symptoms rather than [unintelligible]. It could be helpful [unintelligible]. I know that eventually stimulant use, especially when you're really young, it can permanently damage your appetite, your metabolism. It gets really complicated.

PARTICIPANT 9: It's stuff like that, hearing about stories like that that make me feel weird about how-on one side I'm resentful at my parents for being like 01:15:00oh you don't have anything wrong with you. Mental illness is not real. ADHD and depression don't exist. The other side of me is like I do have ADHD you know? It 01:16:00legit runs in the family. We just don't have any diagnosis.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: I think a lot about that too. I was in special ed, not for physical disability that developed later in my life but because of the emotional regulation stuff that I dealt with like, I mean my brother was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 7 and he was not in special ed. I was not diagnosed with anything and I was in special ed because I couldn't control myself in the classroom. I had a lot of teachers, I can think, and I can hear teachers with different voices saying you were out of control. What I understand that now to be was a combination of very excited and a potent combo of ADHD and also extreme anxiety, always anxiety. I'm pretty sure I came kicking out of the 01:17:00womb with anxiety. I was wringing my hands as an infant. It only got worse as I got older and so I've struggled a lot of with emotion regulation and I was in a specialized classroom because of that, but the assumptions that get made when 01:18:00you are with other people with disabilities and you have physical disabilities that have physical-I don't have laces on my shoes and I've gotten questions from strangers about that. Like, why do you have children's shoes and I'm like-

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: It's not your business.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Why are you asking me? Like, no.

PARTICIPANT 7: Because they're awesome.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Yeah. I'm like what color are your underwear? Why don't you tell me your personal business? It's like I'm not ashamed of being disabled but I'm also protective of it as an identity, but people see that I don't tie my shoes and make assumptions about my cognitive capacity and then they devalue me because of those assumptions. There was a time when I was using a wheelchair, and I've had people like-you [FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2] have been there, people would talk to you instead of me when we were standing next to each other, acting like I couldn't understand because of how I look and that, yeah-

PARTICIPANT 6: I definitely feel that because whenever I do talk to people about my disability when I do explain it I say I have a type of cerebral palsy motor [unintelligible] called spastic hemiplegia that I've had on the right side of my brain. When people hear the right side of my brain, they're like uh-oh something's wrong instead of here but in reality, it's just affecting my physical part of my left side of my body. It's like, no, I don't have, nothing's wrong in here besides the fact that some nerve is not completely, not cognitive 01:19:00because they're just a little messed up. Trying to talk to people and say like oh yeah, I'm completely intelligent.

PARTICIPANT 4: I feel like I needed a lot more help as a kid because I was [unintelligible] I never actually built interpersonal skills from a young age, because what are friends, I don't know, I don't have any of those. Never was. I would also have big outbursts in class up until high school. Because I wasn't getting help at all and I was a crazy person to everybody, and I remember just like I couldn't control things and I didn't know what was going on and I would just yell at a teacher and have to be kicked out of class and I was like- And then they come out and ask me why did you do that? I'm like, I don't know. I 01:20:00can't tell you what is happening and so, yeah. And then the other thing that you were saying about getting diagnosed and it's very hard to advocate for yourself, but even after having like 5 diagnoses there's still more unsolved questions and you're just like, this doesn't cover all of it. There's something more. This isn't it. This doesn't explain everything.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: That's like a struggle on its own, right? When people are like so what do you got going on? And you're like well here's my list and they're so dismissive. I don't know if you've had these experiences but when I'm like yeah, I have this, this, and this and people are like, it's like their eyes glaze over and they immediately don't feel like I'm as valid because I have multiple disabilities and I'm like excuse me.

PARTICIPANT 7: For me, I've had people treat me like I'm a hypochondriac, and 01:21:00it's like no I just got some stuff that doesn't work. Like it's an assorted things.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: The grab bag.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Yeah, it's like it's complex it's like what do you want?

PARTICIPANT 7: I didn't ask for it. It's just what we're working with here.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Yeah, I think that honestly, I feel that invalidation sometimes when I just say I have the one thing and people look at my face. I say I'm autistic and people are like you're not a white boy? You're not autism? And like that, it really decreases confidence in this thing that I know that I have but every time that it happens I'm like maybe I don't. That's why I don't ever watch any shows with autistic characters in them because 100% of them are white men. I'm like, every time someone's like you have autism, have you watched X and 01:22:00Y, I'm like no, because I don't want to.

PARTICIPANT 7: I've learned from straights this white man thing you're talking about.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Yeah.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: Meanwhile, me watching the most recent episode of Grey's Anatomy, even though I've never watched another episode of Grey's Anatomy, because Shoshannah Stern, a deaf actress, is in it and I'm like Ms. Stern, hello. I watched her 10-minute scene, and I was "yes!"

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Represent!

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 1: I didn't watch the rest of the episode.

PARTICIPANT 6: I hate to ask, but have you seen Radio?

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: I haven't heard of that one, actually.

PARTICIPANT 6: It's about a black man with autism.

PARTICIPANT 4: Oh, yeah!

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Really?

PARTICIPANT 6: Basically, he goes out with the football team, but the football team gives him a lot of crap because he's autistic but eventually it's like highlighted.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: That's awesome, well I've got to check that one out. 01:23:00That's awesome. Okay, I'm sorry.

PARTICIPANT 10: I have another thing, but if we have time.

FACILITATOR/PARTICIPANT 2: Yeah, it's like 6:54 and we have to clean up from the event but thank you so much all for attending and sharing your stories. I think we had an amazing conversation and I hope that we can continue doing more programming like this so that we can continue talking to each other and connecting with each other. Please feel free to stop by the Pride Center. I work there five days a week. Actually, four of us work there. So, we'll be there, and we can continue talking and supporting each other. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day.