January 21, 1944
Dearest Mom
I was so glad to get your letters! I don't remember the snowfall in Columbus at
all. The
environment for my spectacle was not very nice- bleak buildings and red mud but I
enjoyed
seeing the flakes swirling about.
I'm sorry little Linda got lost and caused you so much anxiety it was very bad of
her.
(And think of the gasoline probably wasted!) Perhaps Lindy ought to pack a little
pistol to
protect herself! But I guess I would not have enjoyed riding a bus at her age- I
still get a little
hot and bothered wondering where in hell I am when I ride! (Forgive the unfortunate
profanity,
but I felt it was needed for feeling).
I beg you not to start having grandmother's pride too soon. Peter or I should be
the first to
consider the possibility, anyway. I'm afraid that it will be a long time before I
consider myself
worth the girl that I would like to marry (ideals again, of course!)
I'm not in any hurry to get married, especially these days when one can have all the
advantages
with no legal entanglements! But don't worry I'm not leading Quartier Latin life
yet.
I feel well sort of weak after my long sojourn in bed, but my bad foot kept me from
going on a 12 mile hike tonight from 1 to 5 A.M. with full field pack, etc.
What do you think about Russia? I think we're going to have a lot of trouble avoiding
a
war with her; if there is war, it almost means the end of the world. Perhaps this
is the end;
another Dreary Day is just around the corner. I shouldn't be surprised if we never
see peace in
our lives. My faith in the ability of nations to be tolerant is weak, very weak indeed.
Every
nation is extremely suspicious of every other, and these suspicions are too often
well-found.
Why cannot all nations have a sort of brotherly spirit?
By the way racial prejudice in Texas is horribly strong a negro does not look at
a white
man without being accused of trying to own the world. It is such feeling that creates
unrest, even
between nations.
You are right I cannot visualize the steps leading to the future I want. The time
aspect
bothers me most I can't bear to see the first half of my life totally unproductive.
But so far my
life has shown none of this hurry to produce. Perhaps it never will; I'm certainly
not going back
to college if I can't make myself learn all that I can. My desire is to produce something
brilliant
by my more earthbound self reminds me that I haven't shown much promise so far.
The nights in Texas are beautiful the air is cold and clear. Too cold. But the
country is
so flat and barren horrible.
Remember that you have all my love, dear mother.
Linus
